SCOTLAND PLAYS by Unknown

Author:Unknown
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2018-08-28T16:00:00+00:00

36

Inverness. BINKS has a new pal, GUNN. They are pissed.

GUNN. No. No. No. Definitely not. I’m telling you. Absolutely. Under no circumstances. I am quite certain. No.

Pause.

BINKS. Are you sure?

GUNN belches.

GUNN. I could be wrong.

BINKS. Christ man!

GUNN. Wait now. Just let me think . . . They had a ladder you said.

BINKS. That’s right.

GUNN. Tied to the roof?

BINKS. Eh?

GUNN. And what kind of car was it?

BINKS. A Lada.

GUNN. I know about that.

BINKS. Well, why are you asking?

GUNN. I need to know about the car.

BINKS. It had a surf-board tied to the roof.

GUNN. As well as the ladder?

BINKS. On top of the Lada! A surf-board on top of a Lada.

GUNN. Well, I’m sure I would’ve noticed that. That’s not something you see every day, is it. I’m sure I would’ve noticed.

BINKS. But you didn’t.

GUNN. Didn’t what?

BINKS. You didn’t notice it.

GUNN. Did I not?

BINKS growls and grabs GUNN by the lapels.

BINKS. You were working. On the roadworks. On the bridge over the Beauly Firth. Right?

GUNN. Right.

BINKS. And you did not see a Lada with a surf-board on top, crossing the bridge. Right?

GUNN. Right.

BINKS. Right!

Pause. BINKS releases his grip.

GUNN. Are you sure you don’t know what kind of car it was? Must’ve been awful over-loaded . . .

BINKS’ patience snaps. He produces a knife.

GUNN. Are we going for a kebab then?

BINKS. Aye. Oh aye.

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